Sex, Gender and Sexuality

They say "love is blind"… It does not see caste, region, religion etc. - agreed, but does it also not see sex? …if someone said "love does not see sex" 10 years ago, I would have thought they were crazy but as I grew older, thankfully I realised that its ok for a boy to love a boy just like its ok for him to love a girl. Same rules apply even to a girl… it's important to say or write this here because it's not easy for an Indian coming from a background like mine to even Imagine that something like this is even remotely possible. To start with, let's understand what sex, gender and sexuality mean and then we may have a better understanding on how a person chooses another person to love….

Sex – It's what's in your pants and between in your legs.

Gender - What you think or feel you are in your mind

Sexuality/ orientation - Whom you like/love or whom you like to be loved by

How a brain functions for each individual is different and very complex from the rest and I think that's what makes us all unique. Having or liking or doing something different from what everyone likes or does not make anyone weird, it only makes one human - Just like everybody else.

Talking about Gay and lesbian relationship is way beyond my capacity. I don't feel qualified enough to elaborate on how they truly feel about same sex and what makes them do the things they do. Our People would think I or the person who addresses their issue is insane but what I would like to bring here is about the transgender community. I think they are most unfortunate people to be born in an environment such as ours.

The only memory I have of a transgender is the fear they bring in whenever they come either for a wedding or when the girl reaches her puberty or during the train journeys. Everyone gets threatened by them; we need to give them they money they have asked for. A rupee less than what's expected, they would curse and it's believed that the curse would become true. Now, 10 years forward and away from home, I see a transgender model is walking the ramp both for men and women, she is acting in the movies telling her side of the story and giving TED talks. They are no different than us! All this helped me understand why they are the way they are. Even though their sex is male, they are female gender. All they want is to be loved by another man, which woman doesn't? Who does not want to find that enchanting one true love? God put them in a male body but with a female heart and soul… Imagine yourself locked up in a cage unable to get out of it, how claustrophobic it would feel. It's the same feeling they would have, yearning to be someone physically they know they are at heart but appearing like someone they are not to rest of us. God gave them different software which is not compatible with the hardware, how is it their mistake? How can they be considered an abomination? The harsh behaviour we see from them back in our country could be only a defence mechanism they use to face the day to day troubles and setbacks they face being themselves. Its about time one opens the eyes of his mind and dusts all the rotten old pre-medieval thoughts and respect choices of others and co-exists.

I am happy that people in the US of A now have free will to choose who they want to be with but I know for the fact that expecting such a thing in India will be a more than a far cry. We have far worse problems to deal with. People are burnt alive if we marry with in different castes… parents threaten to die or kill if a rich person falls in love with a poor person. The intent of the blog is simple. Live and let live. Respect and earn yours. Love and be loved. It's that simple!