Monday, December 1, 2014

Twenty somethings and thirty nothings!



Thirty and flirty: yeah right!!!!! Who invented this phrase?????? I feel anything but flirty and I am not even 30 yet, well close, but still not……. I think the one who goes through the transition from the jubilant 20's to the troublesome 30's only can tell how it feels like being 30. I read a number of articles to make me overcome the fear of getting old. forget about comforting me, they only put me in deeper misery…Now that I am married, a mum and earning decently well enough to make my own wish list for the next decade, here's me telling myself a couple of comforting things to face the change with grace rather than just panicking like a drunken monkey.so renu, here you go:

It's never too late to start a healthy life style: a walk in the park, a healthy meal, hitting the gym, trying out healthier alternatives without starving yourself would never hurt. I am trying my bit here to come up with quick and easy to make recipes which are healthy and boost my energy rather than just boosting my bulging belly.

Its ok not to be a great cook: its right, you were an absolute disaster when it comes to cooking for your in-laws, you had to be taught the basic Tamil recipes like rasam, sambar from your mom in law only to forget moments later and again ask her shamelessly for that special ingredient which would make it authentic Tamil dish which you forgot to put….well, its ok… no one is going to die if you didn't put the right amount of asafoetida in the Sambar. After all, we eat to live, not live to eat…did someone get that right….: P…. if you are able to cook a decent meal just for the two of you and feed your baby a nutritional meal… I guess that's enough and when the D-day comes for massive daawat-e-ishq kind of cooking comes. there is always bbc good food cooking and varehvah for recipe ideas.

Don't try and be what you are not: now that I am married and have a baby, it is expected of me to be old enough to be matured… I tried very hard to be matured and talk the right thing and be the right one..You know, keep calm and carry on types…. The harder I tried to be someone normal, the more I failed at being that imaginary and rightful person… I realised this change does not happen just because you are married or having a child… it sure does bring in more insight to you as a woman, you know a little more than rest of your unmarried and married but yet to be mum friends but this surely is not a ticket to being an overnight diva of poise, grace and elegance…. You are still learning to manage your work, your baby and your husband, your house, your utility bills, your dishes, your clothes, your endless list of things and its completely alright to be insane at times and be right back to normal or else you would feel like a Robot….eventually you will know how to handle and set a routine for everything…. May be that happy day would come where you have found your peace doing the balancing act….

Take time for yourself and your partner:  Being a full time mommy does not give you any excuse not to be a full time wife…I hear my mom-in-law and even my mum say that the day we were born, there life has turned upside down and the whole importance was given on the babies and they didn't care about themselves or their husbands anymore… a strange feeling sunk inside my stomach and I didn't know what feeling it was…. And only later I realised, it was  a feeling of guilt….that were we the reason for their mechanical life, no vacation, no break from routine. Always cook, feed, send to schools, college , pick from school, pick from college.. is this the life I want for myself? Definitely not… by the time I reach home, feed baby, cook for dinner, pack for lunch, keep the clothes for office tomorrow and put the baby to sleep, it would have already been 11:30, when do I get time to have a decent conversation with my husband? Is this routine going to be any better or with time, would it turn even worse… I am not sure yet… I have to figure out how to balance my life... one thing I am clear is, I need the romance that used to be there between us before the baby and I need to bring it back. Take at least an hour off in a week for your regular threading waxing so that you don't start looking like bear and your partner would still have interest looking into your eye and have a decent conversation.

Make time for friends, make time to make friends: it's a complete stress buster.. laughing, sharing, cribbing and growing with them… in this fast moving world, I can shamelessly say that all my friends are continents apart and I don't make any attempt to make any new friends in my circle. There is hardly anyone with whom I make a decent conversation with for even 5mins near my place without pssting them or pssting myself off. All I am stuck with is my Husband and this is particularly not good when he has work and you have only him to look up to… find alternative ways to keep yourself busy with your baby.. join a new kids group or make a group chat with your friends instead of just typing.. it's not only time consuming to text but also you would never feel content with the conversation as there is always that one bit you would miss to read or put your point across…. And it's never equal to seeing someone in person…

Make peace with yourself: you would have had so many dreams aspirations hopes etc. etc… all will seem to fade and future might appear bleak but have hope that these are just passing clouds and whenever you feel dull just look at those twinkling eyes and see for yourself to believe that you mean the world to your baby… see that even if you make the slightest movement to get water or to loo she will crawl double the speed to catch up with you and bend on her knees and wait for you to lift her up and once you do she will just bat her hands and legs until you kiss her from head to toe and watch her giggle and then, my friend, the world will seem a perfect place to live in J.. At least for that moment. It sure does!

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