I hate the way you crack jokes at me... I hate the way U ignore me when you are with friends! I hate the way you crib about silly things I hate it when you dont talk when you are angry.. I hate it when you hide trivial things from me.. I hate the way you make me laugh..even worse when you make me cry... I hate it when you dont give up on me! I hate the way I lose myself to you I hate the fact that I cant hate you.. not even a little...not even at all...
@dedicated to Heath ledger!!...(10 Things I Hate about you;))..
Have you ever wondered what would give us complete happiness? A new job? Handsome salary? Loved ones? Hmmmm…… There was time when all I wanted was to clear my EAMCET and get a seat in engineering college… and later it was clearing the exams with distinction…and then the biggie… INFY….Though I achieved all those small and seemingly huge targets… none of them have ever made me happy …. I mean real happiness… if pleasure can be called as happiness then ya… maybe I can consider myself happy but I could never understand or even now I still don’t understand the enigma around happiness. The other day, after having a boring day at office I was returning home when it started drizzling… I suddenly had this feeling to shop.. I looked at my wallet and there were around 20Rs…. But I was reluctant to give up… I had to walk half a kilometer to hit the ATM for some money… I wish I literally hit the ATM and it gave me the required amount which means al of what it had then…but unfortunately these machines won’t work that way… but I bet, our comps do work… if you have trouble with your comp and u have tried all possible ways to resolve it and still it doesn’t work…. Just kick its butt hard… it will instantly re-boot and start functioning normally… not only Comp, follow this trick with oven, vending machines n others… my personal experience… IT WORKS … only thing is that it should be office stuff… may be it also allows you to remove frustration at the work place itself so that you won’t carry it to your homes…well, I guess I drifted away from the story…. So going back to where I was, the ATM… I shopped a couple of things… a few interesting and to be flaunted… a few interesting and not to be flaunted…. And a few ambiguous… ambiguous because there was no purpose for buying these but I just bought them for their sheer extravagance of the color and texture…. Before you ponder over what they were.. let me tell you… these were ribbons… Satin ribbons…. Red, yellow, blue…. please don’t scold me… I just could not resist them.. for a second, I felt like the colors of those ribbons would spread into mine and make it beautiful….
I was heading back to my home when I found the Kwality walls vendor with his small mobile ice-cream parlor… it was drizzling outside and he was running for shelter when I called him and asked what varieties he had….he didn’t show me many flavors’ but I was quite happy with the choice of flavors’ I was given… I took Selections family pack… It was my Mom’s birthday and I wanted to give her something she likes… and apart from the regular Dal n rice stuff… I haven’t seen her being fond of anything till date… there was a time when she reminded me of the day when we ate hot gulab jamoon with vanilla ice cream….I didn’t know where to go for gulab jamoon but at least I thought I can take her Ice cream.. and how could I not take something for myself, my favorite Orange Candy…. I was bargaining for the price with the vendor when he said… Mam ‘This is the bonie today and I don’t think these will be sold.. you want more stuff? I will reduce if you take some more’… I looked at the weather and looked back at him, gave a wry smile and jumped from there…..I was not being romantic as they say in some movie….eating ice cream when its drizzling…. I was just being myself…. I guess that explains it…
I opened the cover of the Orange Candy stick and gently slid it into my mouth… and trust me… the feeling was sooo liberating…. I held the most coveted candy and flaunted to the kids who were passing by me on the road… one of whom cried to his grand pa "for me tooo".... that old fellow glanced at me from top to bottom twice and gave me a dirty look.... I didn't bother... I winked at the kid n showed him the candy again...... I Just didn’t want the candy to melt.. I was savoring every bit of it....good things come to an end too soon but the feeling it left was just priceless….
While itty-bitty raindrops drenched my hair, the cool breeze gave me goose bumps as I was listening to my favorite song in the FM and the taste of orange candy still left kept me wanting it more... I was new to this feeling.. It’s been a really long time I walked, I walked alone, and I walked this long towards my home. Quite different from my daily routine where my papa drops me to and fro from the bus stop…. While I was walking, I got time to ponder about myself and the answer to the question asked about the enigma of happiness. I realized that happiness lies in the sweet nothings of life. In things you do, not because you have to, but because you want to. Not to take everything seriously, to be courageous enough to laugh at yourself, to be passionate about something crazy. Not to miss the simple things while pondering about the mammoth tasks in front you. After all, happiness lies in what you really are, not who you are!!.....
I took the satin ribbons, made a bow out of them and decorated my PC. I guess this will give an answer to all time favorite question of everyone. Whether the PC is girl or boy… of course, see the ribbon.. It’s girl yaar.. :) …. I looked at myself in the mirror and kissed it, it left a hint of orange color on it…I don’t know about my life but it surely did make the mirror colorful.. :)
Hey its high time that we bid goodbye to the Old year and welcome the New year.... As always, we make ourselves a promise.... a promise that we will live up to our expectations... the irony is that, we never or vaguely define our Expectations about ourselves.....
Its easy to comment on whether it is correct to give the Nobel peace prize to Obama or to randomly throw an opinion on the recent agitation of the "Telangana - Samaikya andhra" issue but when it comes to the personal point of view, things are a lot more complicated than we think they are and to build a concrete plan for the whole 365 days is a commendable task which my friends, I am going to do now.... so, these are my resolutions!!!
1) To Pamper myself... :).. I know, this could be really funny but its true... its been 3 years and I have been working really hard and screwing my little n not so sharp brain a lott...work..hoome...sleep...travel..work...home.... I feel its an endless journey leading to no where... so buddy, Its time...that you really take a few good breaks in between work... or rather work in between breaks... n who cares....You are not gonna be here anyways... *well my instinct atleast says that...
2) huh...huh....Plan for higher studies!!!.... well... I think working and getting paid is a lot better than going back to school.... saluting your teacher , the homework and preparing for exams n all that crappy stuff... But after a day long work .. when you feel that you are just a puppy in the hands of your client and no matter how good a suggestion you give, they are gonna accept the one given by a person who has a million qualifications behind his A** and has no common sense what so ever...The rosy picture shown to the public about the s/w life style is an utter bullshit.... I read the below lines some where: "The fast and the smart cant be cheap.. the cheap and the fast cant be smart and the smart and the cheap cant be fast" I guess they are trying to get the smart work as fast as possible at the cheap rates.... and we succumb to pressure and its like delivering a baby before the gestation period is complete. obviously the immature projects fail and leave dissatisfaction in work life.... As my 3 years of s/w life overshadowed my 4 years engg life, i guess i am technically nill in my CORE subject....which leaves me no other choice but MBA... I hope my voice would be heard atleast there... else i always a place to crib.. here :).....
3) Hunt should begin: how to find a decent, responsible, caring, loving, Tall, Dark, Sexy..errr...ok ok guy... suggestions are welcome!!!....
4) Stay close to all my loved ones...... This i guess is in my hands....my best friends and not so good friends:P:P.... I am happy that you are part of life... I have learned to be happy, sad, bad, mad n so on.. all because of you.... I renew our contract of life long harassment to each other by another year...
Happy New year!!!!.... May all your dreams come true and may you have lots of pleasant surpises to look forward too in this year....
Last but not least.... Its one life.... live it....
